Anxiety Isn’t a Thought Problem—It’s a Body Memory
You’re going about your day and thinking: “I know I shouldn’t be anxious, but I just AM. I can’t help it!”
You’re not alone. SO many people go through this thought process where they feel like they’re having a run-of-the-mill day and for some reason they’re still anxious. It sucks because you also can’t logic your way out of it by telling yourself “there’s no reason to be anxious!” So what do we do now?
Anxiety lives in your body, and not just your mind. So we have to do something to help our body know it’s safe.
Anxiety Is Often a Memory the Body Is Holding
Many trauma-informed therapies understand emotions as being stored or held in the body. So even when your mind doesn’t understand why you’re feeling anxious or remember why you might be anxious–your body is still reacting to something because it remembers.
Even if you’re not in any current danger, your body might be responding to a memory of something that it felt was dangerous instead of a current stressor.
Your body learned something at one point and it hasn’t unlearned it yet.
What “Body Memory” Actually Means
Body memory simply means your body remembers feelings that your mind might not remember. This could look like being bitten by a dog when you were really little and now every time you’re near that same type of dog your body gets really tense or tries to tell you to leave. Sometimes these memories come from obvious experiences, and sometimes from repeated stress or emotional overwhelm over time.
The hard part about your body remembering something that your mind doesn’t is that it can feel foreign to you. It can feel like something else has taken over your body and you can’t control it. It can also feel like your body is reacting to something long before your mind can catch up to it.
All this to say, if you have anxiety that pops out of nowhere–that makes complete sense and might be your body’s way of warning you about something that your mind doesn’t remember.
Why You Can Be Safe Now and Still Feel Anxious
At this point you might be thinking, “even if I wasn’t safe back then–I am now so why doesn’t my body get that”. GOOD QUESTION!
Just because you are physically and/or emotionally safe today doesn’t mean that your nervous system feels safe. When your nervous system doesn’t know it’s safe, it can start to set off alarm bells that don’t need to be going off which causes you to feel exhausted and frazzled.
Your body’s job is to protect you, so when your nervous system says something is off–your body believes it. This is normally a good thing because you want and need your body to warn you when something bad is about to happen so you can stay safe. The hard part is when you actually don’t need that protection all the time and instead of helping, it wears you out.
How Healing Happens When You Work With the Body
Because these strong emotions and memories can live in your body, it’s important that healing happens in your body too. This can happen through (what we in the biz call) somatic work. Somatic just means that it’s related to the body. This can look like EMDR, Brainspotting, AEDP, etc. and these modalities focus on bringing you into your body so that your body can process whatever it’s holding on to.
Healing in these ways isn’t about forcing your body to feel calm through thinking the right things, or doing certain techniques to make your brain believe there is no reason to be anxious. Instead it’s about helping your body feel safe again by working through these emotions.
These somatic approaches are meant to be slow and attuned to what you need instead of overriding your body’s signals.
Introduction to Brainspotting
I do a form of therapy called Brainspotting (BSP). This type of therapy helps your brain access the part of your body where you feel this emotion or memory the strongest. Once we find that spot we stay there and that allows your body to process whatever it’s holding on to. You’re in control of the process the whole time and I’ll check in with you throughout.
This isn’t about reliving the experience, although you might remember parts of it, it’s about releasing the emotions and memories that are stuck.
You’re Not Failing at Anxiety—Your Body Is Doing Its Job
I want you to hear me when I say–you and your body aren’t failing if you’re having anxiety out of nowhere. Your body’s job is to protect you and it’s been doing that job really well throughout your life, but now it needs to go “off duty” sometimes so you can have a break.
Be patient with yourself and your body as you heal because at one point you really needed that strong protection from your body. And now it’s time to let some of that go.
If this resonates with you and you want to learn more about what it would be like to walk through a process of healing through your body–please feel free to reach out. I’d love to hear from you and walk alongside you!